Holly's Revenge: Haircut Edition
by FrostedFowl53
Summary: Inspired by a scene from Time Paradox. What if, in every book, Holly got revenge on Artemis... by cutting his hair? Humor/fluff
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! This is actually EctoPhantom13 speaking. Me and XaraFunHouse2 got a joint account together. She's doing her homework (I think...), and I have Honour Band in an hour, so I figured, why not post this? Enjoy! And any and all mistakes are mine. **

Holly sat fuming in her cell. She was _sooo _pissed at the Mud Boy, Artemis, for locking her in here. She wanted revenge. Now.

As Holly sat, thinking about all the ways to get back at the Mud Boy, she flashed back to someone asking why her hair was so much shorter than every other girls'. Her response: _I actually cut my hair, unlike some fairies. _

That gave Holly a brilliant idea.

*Time skip, it's what happens in the book right up until Holly punches Artemis*

"Good evening, Captain Short,' he began, confidence apparently intact. "At the risk of sounding clichéd, I've been expecting you."

Holly didn't respond, didn't even look her jailer in the eye. Instead she utilized her training to scan the room, her gaze resting briefly on each surface.

"You are, of course, still bound by the promises made earlier tonight …"

But Holly wasn't listening, she was sprinting towards a stainless-steel workbench bolted to the far wall.

"So, basically, our situation hasn't changed. You are still my hostage."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," muttered Holly, running her fingers over the rows of confiscated Retrieval equipment. She selected a stealth-coated helmet, slipping it over her pointed ears. The pneumatic pads pumped to cradle her crown. She was safe now. Any further commands given by Fowl meant nothing through the reflective visor. A wire mike slotted down automatically. Contact was immediate.

"... on revolving frequencies. Broadcasting on revolving frequencies. Holly, if you can hear me, take cover."

Holly recognized Foaly's voice. Something familiar in a crazy situation.

"Repeat. Take cover. Cudgeon is sending in a …"

"Something I should know?" said Artemis.

"Quiet," hissed Holly, worried by the tone of Foaly's usually flippant voice.

"I say again, they are sending in a troll to secure your release."

Holly started. Cudgeon was calling the shots now. Not good news at all.

Fowl interrupted again.

"It's not polite, you know. Ignoring your host."

Holly snarled. "Enough is enough."

She pulled back her fist, fingers curled in a tight bunch. Artemis didn't flinch. Why would he? Butler always intervened before punches landed. But then something caught his eye, a large figure running down the stairway on the first-floor monitor. It was Butler.

"That's right, rich boy," said Holly nastily. "You're on your own this time."

And before Artemis's eyes had time to widen, Holly put an extra few kilos of spring in her elbow and whacked her abductor right on the nose.

"Oof," he said, collapsing on to his rear end.

"Oh yes! That felt good."

Holly focused on the voice buzzing in her ear.

"... we've been feeding a loop to the outside cameras, so the humans won't see anything come up the avenue. But it's on the way, trust me."

"Foaly. Foaly, come in."

"Holly? Is that you?"

"The one and only. Foaly, there is no loop. I can see everything that's going on around here."

"The cunning little ... He must have rebooted the system."

The avenue was a hive of fairy activity. Cudgeon was there, haughtily directing his team of sprites. And in the centre of the melee stood a five-metre-tall hovercage, floating on a cushion of air. The cage was directly before the manor door, and the techies were securing a concussor seal to the surrounding wall. When activated, several alloy rods in the seal's collar would be detonated simultaneously, effectively disintegrating the door. When the dust settled, the troll would have only one place to go into the manor.

Holly checked the other monitors. Butler had managed to drag Juliet from the cell. They had ascended from the cellar level and were just crossing the lobby. Right in the line of fire.

"D'Arvit," she swore, crossing to the work surface.

Artemis was propped on his elbows. "You hit me," he said in disbelief.

Holly strapped on a set of Hummingbirds.

"That's right, Fowl. And there's plenty more where that came from." Then she punched him again, on the right temple. He fell unconscious immediately.

"Okay Mud Boy, I've got bigger things to worry about right now than you. But first…" Holly held up a pair of green scissors from the nearby desk, and snapped the blades together threateningly.

She walked out of the room two minutes later, grinning triumphantly. When the Mud Boy woke up, he was in for a big surprise.

*Oh, looky here, another time skip. Troll fight continues as normal*

Artemis came to gradually. He felt groggy, and then he remembered. Captain Short had punched him in the temple. Dang it.

Artemis frowned. Something felt different. He shrugged it off as nothing. Probably just a bruise on his temple.

Artemis walked downstairs and saw the destruction that the troll had caused. Butler glanced up and found his young charge, than frowned.

"What?" Artemis asked, walking up to Butler.

"Artemis… did you get a haircut?" Butler asked slowly. A smile slowly spread across Holly's face.

"What?!" Artemis shrieked, running to the closest mirror, horrified at what he saw. His raven black hair was choppy and uneven, like a five-year old had attacked it with safety scissors. Artemis turned around, his face red from embarrassment and fury.

"CAPTAIN SHORT!"

**Hope that made you laugh! See you next chapter! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! This is Phantom... and Xara's here too. Just a funny author's note to get you in the right mood: **

**Jack: So, let me get this straight. Elves... at least, the ones that don't wear pointy little bell hats, are REAL.**

**Artemis: Yes. **

**Holly: Hello, there's one right in front you! **

**Jack: Sorry. I didn't know.  
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**Arthur: What? How did this happen? Are you magical? WHAT ARE WE DOING IN THIS STORY?! **

**Merlin: Um... uhm... *sweating and nervous* I'm leaving now... **

**Arthur: Oh no you're not. *grabs Merlin and drags him back over* **

**Phantom: Ha ha, I'm so mean to our poor characters. Anyway, enjoy the story!**

Holly woke up before Artemis did. She looked around groggily, registering that they were in a train. Artemis was passed out next to her, laying across her arm. Holly quickly yanked her arm out from under Artemis, and noticed that her finger was missing. Root was over to the side, conversing with Butler about something.

Then it all hit Holly. Artemis was the one that made her lose her finger! And the reason she was in the Arctic in the first place. Holly reached into her utility belt and pulled out… a pair of green scissors. The same pair that she had stolen from Fowl Manor.

She thought of the most mortifying haircut she could think of. As she held up the scissors and quietly snipped them threateningly, an evil sadistic grin crossed her face.

After Holly was done cutting Artemis' hair, she reached into her belt and exchanged the scissors for some hair gel. She quickly slathered it in Artemis' hair.

She coughed, and amber sparks sprayed from her mouth. Blackness started eating at the corners of her vision, and she knew that her magic was sending her into shut-down. Her last thought was: _I wonder what Artemis' reaction will be when he sees what I did to his hair. _

*Time Skip*

Artemis woke up thinking he was in the spa at Blackrock. That would explain the vibrations underneath his back. The only other possible theory was a train… the train!

Artemis' midnight blue eyes flew open and he sat up slowly, feeling better than he had in years. He glanced around, and his eyes rested on Holly, laying prone on the ground.

"Well, glad to see you awake- Artemis, what happened to your hair?!" Butler's voice came from behind him.

"What? My hair is the way it's always been." Artemis replied. Butler pulled out his compact (**A/N: There isn't any makeup in the compact, it's just a mirror) **and handed it to Artemis. There was a moment of silence, then Artemis screeched a high, girly scream.

*How many time skips are going to be in this story? Even I don't know*

Holly came to groggily for the second time. The first thing she registered this time was Artemis' new hairstyle.

"Hey, Artemis, your hair looks different." Holly said, cackling on the inside, "It looks good… in fact, I think you could get a girlfriend with it. Just get normal teenager clothes and for sure, you would have girls lined up around the block."

The glare that Artemis sent her was laced with so much poison that if looks could kill, Holly would be dead within a millisecond.

**(A/N Xara to Phantom: Phantom, you have to work on a concept called: BEING NICE.)  
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